


Threaded with Shadows and Light

by donutsweeper



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-02 09:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8662480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: The fact that Jensen woke Cougar up when he returned home in the middle of the night was not a surprise. However, the fact he was carrying a baby was.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minim Calibre (minim_calibre)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minim_calibre/gifts).



"Cougar?" There was little in the world that could bring Cougar out of a deep sleep quicker than the sound of distress in his lover's voice. He was out of bed and slipping into the hall practically before he was even aware he was moving.

"Jensen?" He kept his voice pitched low, unsure of what was wrong and unwilling to wake the others before he had a better idea of the situation. He reached out to flick on the light in the main room when Jensen called out,

"No, don't. I don't want to wake her."

He was about to ask who he wasn't supposed to wake when Jensen stepped closer and into the patch of streetlight from the curtainless window.

"Jake, that is a baby," he couldn't help but point out. And he felt he had to mention it because when Jensen left earlier that evening to burn off some energy freerunning he a) had on a tee shirt and b) did not have a baby. Now, however, Jensen was bare-chested with a baby sleeping in his arms and the shirt had been repurposed as a diaper.

"Yeah, I know." Cougar waited for an explanation of some kind, but it didn't seem to be forthcoming. Instead, Jensen made a soft cooing noise at the baby as he stroked its dirty cheek.

"Jensen?" This was uncommon ground for Cougar; typically he never spoke much, relying on Jake to keep the conversation going. To have to pry for information from _Jensen_ of all people was unheard of. 

"She was so quiet, Cougs, I almost didn't even realize she was there."

"Where? What happened?"

"Someone abandoned her. Just put her in a shoebox and left her next to a dumpster like a piece of garbage. Why would someone do that?" Cougar didn’t have a good answer for that, but Jensen obviously didn’t expect one. "If I hadn’t stopped to pet that dog; it was nosing at the box. I thought it was hungry and was trying to get into some leftovers or something so I figured I’d help, right? So, I open the box expecting to see, I don’t know, some half eaten burgers or something? But instead there she was, just lying there as quiet as could be and...." Jensen trailed off, his slumped shoulders shaking slightly.

"Probrecito," Cougar murmured, meaning the comment for both man and baby. Slowly, telegraphing his movements, he stepped closer until he could wrap his arms around the two of them. "Why did you bring her back here?"

Jensen's head shot up, a look of revulsion on his face. Ripping himself out of Cougar's grasp he, with obvious difficulty, kept his voice low as he retorted, "You think I should have left her there?" 

"No!" Cougar was so horrified to so misunderstood that he forgot to keep quiet. "No, no, no. Jake, no, I would never think such a thing! I only meant, I was asking why you brought her here instead of to a place where there were people who could take care of her."

"Oh." Cougar watched as the fear, the anger, the righteous indignation, seeped out of Jensen, leaving only sadness and misery in its wake. Right before his eyes, Jensen seemed to fold in on himself, becoming smaller than a man of his size had any right to be. "Sorry. I. Sorry. I know, I mean I should have known you. You wouldn't." Jensen gave Cougar a half-hearted one shoulder shrug before, when the baby fussed slightly, shifting into an obviously well practiced swaying bounce motion. "I gotcha baby, you're okay. Uncle Jake isn't going to let anything bad happen to you."

"Jensen," Cougar said slowly, deliberately. They were only stateside for another week, in fact they already had their next assignment. It wouldn't do for Jensen to get attached. Well, more attached.

"Don't look at me like that, Cougar. I know. She's not Beth. I just. I couldn't leave her there and I didn't know where to take her. I mean, I know there's got to be places I could bring her- officially designated safe havens are a thing and all - but I don't know where they are off the top of my head. Sometimes it's a hospital and sometimes it's okay leaving them with policemen or at a fire station but sometimes not and I didn't have my phone and I couldn't. I mean. I just. So, I brought her here. I had to do something, right? She's so small. People should do something when kids need help. I had to do something."

Cougar nodded, making a small, affirmative noise as approached Jensen carefully, cautiously. Jensen never spoke much about his life before joining up, but from the little he had mentioned, Cougar knew he'd had it rough and was always going to be a little broken as a result. "Yes, you did. And you did the right thing, Jensen. You did a _good_ thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. We will find a safe haven to take her to, but before that... come," Cougar said, tugging lightly on the arm that wasn't holding the baby. "She would probably like a bath, yes?"

Jensen allowed Cougar to herd him all the way into the kitchen before he spoke up. "Yeah, I bet she'd like that."

Cougar made quick work of emptying the sink before wiping it clean with a paper towel. "How warm should the water be?"

"Warm, but not too hot. You gotta be careful when they're this little. Kind of like the temperature of that tea Jolene always makes us drink when one of us gets hurt? The one that smells like feet?" 

Nodding, Cougar began to fill the sink, letting the cold water run for a moment before turning on the hot. "Her herbal tea. It is supposed to help with healing."

"Maybe 'cause it makes you want to never get shot again," Jensen complained to the baby in a singsong voice. "That stuff is nassss-ty."

"She means well."

"I know."

"There is nothing she can do to prevent us from being injured when out on missions. But the tea? The tea is maybe a small thing, but it is something she can do. Sometimes the small things are all that we can do."

Jensen raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, Cougar, for a man of few words you sure know how to use them."

Cougar merely grinned and dipped his head in response before gesturing to the water.

Dunking his wrist in, Jensen nodded. "Yeah, that's good." With the baby still curled into the crook of his left arm, Jensen began unwrapping the makeshift diaper with his right hand. As the tee unfolded Cougar realized it was only part of the shirt- Jensen must have ripped it wherever he found the baby and presumably used the half to clean her up before bringing her here. And it was only then that Cougar recognized the logo.

It was Jensen's vintage Batman shirt.

A shirt that Jensen had spent three months and hacked god knows how many systems tracking down.

A shirt that had caused Jensen and Roque to nearly come to blows just because Roque said it was stupid. 

A shirt that Jensen loved so much he wouldn't even let _Beth_ borrow it.

A shirt that was now ripped and stained because a little baby needed it.

Knowing it wouldn't be welcome, Cougar chose not to comment on it, instead grabbing a plastic bag from the drawer and offering it as a receptacle for what was left of the ruined shirt.

"Thanks," Jensen said, dumping the shirt in without as much as a second glance. "Can you go see if there are any fresh towels living in the closet? And something we could repurpose as a diaper once she's clean?" 

The junk closet was crammed full of useless, random stuff, but amidst the computer paraphernalia, bits of spare gear and kitchen utensils Cougar managed to unearth a washcloth, two threadbare towels and a camo hankerchief as well as a bar of plain soap. Carrying the lot back into the kitchen, Cougar arrived in time to see Jensen toss a dirty, dampened paper towel into the garbage bag and slowly begin to submerge the baby into the water.

"How's that feel, sweetie? Good, huh? Yeah, look at you kicking that water. I bet you're going to be a swimmer when you grow up. Or maybe a karate black belt. What'cha glaring at me for? Is that a no on the karate thing? So, what, soccer then? A soccer champ more your style?" The baby made a happy, gurglely sound and Jensen grinned. "I should've known. It's always soccer when it comes to you little princesses."

Cougar placed everything within easy reach on the counter and sidled up next to Jensen, pressing his against his side. "Perhaps," he suggested, "we should stop at a store before we drop her off and pick her up a little ball and something to wear?" Dunking the washcloth into the water, Cougar rubbed enough soap on it to build up a little lather and then offered it to Jensen.

"And maybe a stuffed animal?" Jensen asked. "Every kid should have a stuffed animal."

"We can get her a stuffed animal," Cougar said, wrapping his arms around Jensen, watching as he gently washed her with a kind of efficiency and ease Cougar would never be able to master. Jensen's hidden depths would never cease to amaze him.

Jensen finished bathing the baby in silence. It was only when she was lying on one of the towels while Jensen fashioned the handkerchief into a diaper that he spoke up. "I wonder," he began in a tone that promised that the next thing he was said had a good chance of trying Cougar's patience, "for that stuffed animal… cats are a pretty common kind of stuffed animal, right? What do you think, if the store has one, we get a little kitten for the little munchkin?"

Cougar was going to reply with a quick retort; he wasn't sure what he would have said but it would have been sharp and biting, something about not disparaging his nickname and probably started yet another argument about it since Jensen liked to poke fun at it while Cougar was proud of it, but then he caught the look on Jensen's face. "A kitten," he said blandly instead.

"It'd kind of be a way for her to take us with her, you know? A little kitty cat to look out for her like you're always looking out for me. What do you think?"

That was actually…. kind of sweet. "Yes, I think I like this idea," he said as Jensen turned into his embrace, the now swaddled baby curled between them. 

"A kitten for her and a Cougar for me," Jensen murmured, resting his forehead in the crook of Cougar's neck.

Cougar fake growled at that, getting the laugh he had hoped for out of Jensen and held him tight.


End file.
